1. It feels like you *used* to be able to eat dang near anything. But now you have ONE medium-to-large plate of chili fries and…ouch.
4. What constitutes a “normal” bedtime keeps getting earlier and earlier.
6. In the even *unlikelier* scenario that you truly do Go For It, your body is merciless in its punishment.
7. Your filter is, well, gone. What you think is what you say.
8. You used to feel FOMO about almost anything you skipped out on, but you’re pretty over it these days.
9. Actually, you LOVE when plans get canceled.
10. Sickness seems to come around more often, and stick the hell around.
11. Even the *concept* of online dating makes you so exhausted.
12. Or, honestly, any dating at all.
13. Your fashion motto is less, “Damn, I look good” and more, “Damn, I feel cozy.”
14. You’ve found yourself at a party, or a bar, or anywhere really, thinking “Ugh, TOO LOUD” way more often than you ever thought.
15. You never move as fast as when you’re muting a group text.
16. You’ve stopped trying to “keep up” with “what’s cool.”
17. You’re finding it harder and harder to put up with shitty people in your life because…you are TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT.